Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
So I just went to clothing optional bar
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
