Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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