Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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