I'm drive I can fine osifer
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
