There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
