Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
