I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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