i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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