I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
