you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
