How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Oh god it's open bar.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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