Just cropdusted the office
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
i need some magic done to my vagina
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
