I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
