): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
