Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
