Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize