quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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