did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
