he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize