dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
