You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
