dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
