the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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