This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize