you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
