It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize