I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
