was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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