Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
they need to just BURY HIM!
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Randomize
