Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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