He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i will never coherently bang her
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
