U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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