last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
