The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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