He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
