Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
