windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
