I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
how does that bad decision feel?
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