yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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