I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
where does the pee come out of this thing
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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