You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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