p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
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