I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
