he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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