You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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