i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
