super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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