I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
