I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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