I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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