So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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