Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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