At least make sure they are 18
Why
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I intend to get homeless drunk
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
