I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
