I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
