so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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