I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
