remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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