she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
