I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
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