no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
