actually, I'm a sock model
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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