Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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