I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
