glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
i've created a new STD.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
