i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
