I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
